Queen Cry Baby!

I gritted my teeth in pain for most of the day today and yesterday because of some killer cramps and monster headaches.

It seems to go away in the afternoon though...
I wonder if it has something to do with going to sleep?
I'm not sure....
I wonder if I'm just sick, or if its the result of something going on within...
Hopefully NOT the BIG D ( what Emily and I say to refer to depression)
but alas,
I have no idear!
Seriously though. They f*ckin hurt.
and I guess it doesn't help that in the back of my mind
I know that I am pretty lonely these days.
I wonder if that has anything to do with it?!

I don't know, but because I watched Cry Baby today, followed by random scenes from Grease 2, I feel obligated to show my non-existent public what I've seen, in order to get a feel for what I'm feeling. Or at the very least, document to myself what I'm feeling at this exact moment, to see if it creates those same feelings at a future time period. (Ha! I said "feelings" a million times)
Catch my drift, son?

The point of this post is, I guess, is that Johnny Depp is really sexy, and that I get what Michelle Pfeiffer is feeling. :p

Ska-ska Ska-tttuh BrainZzz!!!

It is Sunday Morning... well, Sunday afternoon to be exact. Morning for me, I guess. Yesterday, I lost a Beer Pong Competition with a guy named Stephen (Team Pong-a-licious!) It was pretty fun anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. But now I find myself half-watching Nickelodeon and chatting with friends on IM, while doing Risk Management Training online, and looking up my homework assignments for the week. Sounds like Multi-tasking, but to me, it just sounds like warped priorities. :/

Aghhh, I really hope I don't get on Academic Probation! It would break my heart. But, I guess I can look at the situation from the eyes of the Fortune Cookie I got when some of my friends and I went to an Asian restaurant with Barbara. It said something along the lines of "Only from great failure can one reap great success." So yeah, if I get on probation, thats going to be my cheap inspiration for my shortcomings in society. :P Hopefully it won't come to that. I just gotta kick my own ass this semester, and remember that this is all a privilege, and not something I should take for granted.

In other news, I made spaghetti tacos the other day-- it was super friggin' legit--



....and right now I just ate some spicy pasta that Alisa made. (Also super legit)

Well, I guess I must leave for now, and finish all the work I have yet to do...
Hopefully, in the midst of all the stress, I will come back on top in the end... or at least find a hot boyfriend? XD I don't know where that last thought came from. It had nothing to do with this post at all. Wow.

I guess my mind is all over the place.
MUST FOCUS. MUST FOCUS. MUST FOCUS.

School just started yesterday, and I’m really really excited! Not for classes or anything actually school related, but for my living situation mostly. I’m now living with Alisa, Emily (T, for those that know her as such), and a girl named Mayu (spelling might be wrong?) who is awesome!!! I’m sad that Senora couldn’t live with us… and I’m still unsure if she’s in Austin or not.
SENORA, WHERE ARE YOUUU???



Anyway, I’m excited for this coming semester! I can feel the surge of greatness coming!

My, what a short post...

These boots were made for walking.

I am currently--- at work, waiting for my shift to end before I pass out from hunger. It is really cold, and I feel dirrrrty from wearing the majority of the same outfit from last night’s clubbing fiasco. I got locked out of my temporary home, and ending up spending the night with Henry, only to wake up the next day to find myself locked out yet again! It wasn’t really the locked out part that bugged me, it was the sweating my balls off part that made the day stressful. Oh Summer, you strange and unpredictable mistress! Actually, I really enjoy the sun. I love lying down and basking in the sun from my window... I guess similar to an iguana, without the scaly skin.

Well, anyway, last night we went out clubbing. It had been a while since I had gone out dancing, and I guess in general, a long time since I’ve wanted to go dancing period. Yup, break-ups and haunting memories will do that to ya, I guess. Clubbing is always a fun experience for me as long as I go with good friends. Some people are sometimes so caught up with finding a guy/girl to go home with that they end up ditching you or leaving you to fend for yourself in the sea of horny men with boners popping out in every kind of direction imaginable. Those are not good people to go out with. So since there were no people of that sort, It was a pretty good time in my book. Lots of colorful tiny bubbles floating from the ceiling, and strippers on each side of the club locked in a birdcage. The music wasn’t really my style, but it was fun either way, and to top it off, 3am enchiladas! Lordy Lordy, thank goodness for Magnolia’s Café! Fantasia's (from American Idol) hair made a cameo at the restaurant that night followed by inappropriate touching from friends.

Good weekend, I suppose.

How does the story end? With decapitation of course!

So today I finally snapped that I had a blog posted online, and then after many failed attempts to login, I got it to function properly. Anyhoot, the last time that I posted was last year, and many things have happened since then. But, at risk of pulling a “Doug” and recapping everything missed from the summer, I’m just going to blurt out whats on my mind… what exactly is on my mind, you say?

Well, I just really want to punch sooo many people in the face/balls. Maybe a slight stab to the shoulder blade will do. Usually the ideal spot for me to visualize hurting someone is in the eyes. Stabbing them quickly, with a very thin needle so that the pain jolts through their bodies. That’s not really something one should “blog” about, so nevermind… disregard that statement.

Main point of it all… I’m sick and tired of the people that I love being hurt by complete assholes. I wish there was something I could do about it, but heck, I’m not Bette Midler, and this is not The First Wives Club. This is real life, and in real life, people get burned, and you can’t save them.

Currently I am at my friend Josh’s apartment, and I’ll be staying with him for most of August. It’s strange not having a permanent place of residency. Every time I hang out in his room and it gets late, I start worrying about the long walk back to my apartment, only to remember that I don’t live there anymore. It’s a sad feeling, but also a really good one at the same time. I’m glad that I’ll never have to see one of my old roommates. Frankly, she can go fuck herself. She is no longer a part of my daily life, and its great. I’m just glad that I continued to enjoy myself and not let it bother me…..that much.

Right now Josh is singing about Annie getting her gun, and locking up people for murder. This is what happens when two people are up at 4am with no clear reason. Its secretly great though. I appreciate how the song came out of nowhere. If I had multiple personalities, he definitely would be one of the voices in my head taunting me at night, begging me to sing showtunes with elderly women on a carnival cruise. Ah, speaking of multiple personalities, I need to watch Season 2 of The United States of Tara. That was a good show.

Anyway, I’m losing my mind right now. The screen is starting to melt into one big bright blur, and Josh’s singing is making me question my existence. Someone should swat me like a fly to remind me of my mortality.

Goodnight.

7:05 am

Spongebob is on, and the sun STILL has not come out completely. Right now Plankton is on a date with Mr. Krab's mother, and all I can think is "what the hell is wrong with me?" I'm pale, wearing a tubetop, and the only thing that I accomplished within the last three days was wash my blanket, and do the dishes. Why in the hell am I still up, and watching Spongebob on Nickelodeon?

Julie, whats that scribbled across your forehead? oh yeah... FAIL.

I'm almost 20 years old, I need to get it together! Needless to say, I have overindulged in the amount of lame stock I purchased... that is, if being lame could actually be sold as stock ( not disabled cows ). You see, I have managed to completely ruin myself academically this semester, and yet all I can do is dream my life away, and think about how stupid my life is right now... for the life of me I can't think of a way to fix it, so all I can do is continue to ponder life and its possibilities. Sometimes too much thinking can be dangerous.. I know I've gotten myself into quite a bit of trouble doing just that. So I tried to think of various ways to get rid of the thoughts, or at least distract myself, from well, myself. So this is why I have decided to create this blog.

Blah blah blah, call it therapy if you will.

Well, seeing as that was my blog intro, it's time to actually begin my blog. I would like to take this moment to disuss my views on love, since it refuses to part ways with my mind. I believe that I am meant to be alone. People say I'm too young to give up, but I know better. My friend told me that everyone can relate to being lonely at one time or another. But what if its not just a "time"... what if its your entire existence? I don't think I could stand that much pain. Michael Buble tells me otherwise...or at least according to his random music video taking place in a grocery store. I dunno, but I'm getting used to the idea of being alone forever. I think that once I become comfortable with the idea, I won't be sad because I will have accepted it as part of my life's path in the world. You know, the first part of recovery is accepting you have a problem. Once I accept that its not in the cards for me, I can recover and move on with my life. Until then, I shall remain hopeless...


Btw, Owl City...what the hell is your problem?! Seriously. You make No sense.
I mean Chris Brown might* have beat Rihanna, but I can forgive him before I ever forgive Owl City for making such crappy music.

Meanwhile... friends and family continue to stay lovely.